Beautiful Eyes

Having learned how to download YouTube clips into my Real player, I have quite an accumulation of favorite French and Saunders, Carol Burnett, Royle Family, the Muppets, Morcambe and Wise, etc. clips.
My nieces- Ellie (7) and Harper, aka Hoppy,(4) have a select few that they love to watch when I go over to their house to visit. The top choice is always the Muppets singing “Bohemian Rhapsody,” especially the bit where Animal sings the “mama, just killed a man…” secition, only he doesn’t sing the real words, he just repeats the question “Mama?” over and over. Hoppy, in particular, verges on peeing in her pants as we watch this part OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY

Another favorite clip of the girls’ is from THE VICAR OF DIBLEY. It is the episode in which Jim and Owen present Geraldine with a chocolate fountain. If you have not seen this and have even the remotest sense of humor- GO NOW AND WATCH IT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-wwbO4LUMY

Soooo….Ellie has gone to spend the night at a friend’s house, my sister and brother-in-law are at a get-together, and it is just Hop and I hanging out on a Saturday evening.:
Hoppy: Can we watch that big fat girl with the chocolate on your computer?”

And thus began an Aunt Jenny life lesson:
I explained to Harper that when I see Dawn French- I don’t think of her as a “that big fat girl,” (In truth I think of her as a glorious idol that I adore because she is beyond brilliant) but that when I see her I think, “there is that lady with the beautiful eyes who is very funny and makes me feel good because she makes me laugh so hard.”

We went on to talk about that, very unfortunately, the first thing most people notice when they see someone is if they are fat, thin, what color they are, how much hair do they have, tall, short- all things that really have nothing to do with who they REALLY are and what is REALLY important- do they have a good heart and are kind to others.

I asked her what she thought about when she thought about me- Aunt Jenny.
She looked up at me with her beautiful eyes and said, “That you sing me songs and take me to McDonalds and play the Lady Bug game.”

I have been referred to as "that big fat girl" and expect it will happen many more times.  But even the victim of this sort of treatment is guilty of making quick judgements. 

The real question is: Will Aunt Jenny learn from her own lesson?
I have been trying to make a conscious effort. It is easy to chastise yourself after considering the judgment you just made, but to take the time to respect someone enough to look past the conventional judgment and find the beauty- physical or spiritual that is will be true success.

I need only follow Hoppy’s lead- I later overheard her talking to her big sister about “the lady with the beautiful eyes and the chocolate.”

I don’t know how much of my life lesson will stick with this sweet four year old, but she is, indeed, sweet and kind, with nice, loving parents. However, she also lives in this world that worships super models and has years ahead of her on playgrounds filled with kids who will never see anyone’s beautiful eyes because they won’t get past the fact that they weigh more than what is considered acceptable, have a birth mark in a noticeable place, or where a turban.

“You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late
Before you are six or seven or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate
You’ve got to be carefully taught
You’ve got to be carefully taught…”